It’s too early in the year to discuss disappointments in film, yet here we are.
A trailer can do wonders for a film when used properly. You can watch the trailer for Argylle and see immediately that shenanigans will be afoot. It comes off as a spy movie that doesn’t take itself too seriously and isn’t afraid to go over the top. Unfortunately, the film goes over the top and off the rails after the first hour. It’s 2 hours and 19 minutes of outlandish action sequences and campy humor.
So upfront, those are the film’s two biggest weaknesses. It goes well out of its way to be silly to the point where it stumbles over itself. Add that to the fact it’s about an hour too long and you have a pretty big problem. The sad part is that the film starts great. You see the potential early on and you get excited when things start to come together. But when dialogue and fight scenes start to feel extraneous, that’s when you know there’s a problem.
Directed by Matthew Vaughn, Argylle follows a reclusive writer named Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) who garnered success by penning espionage novels. The problems begin once she realizes what she’s writing is happening in real time.
Every once in a blue moon, you come across an artist that can do both. Music and film, film and sports, etc. A particular talent that can balance two mediums at once or just straight-up crossover from one to the other. Lady Gaga for example has shown that while music might be her bread and butter, acting is an art form she can handle. I’m going to make a bold claim for Dua Lipa. I’ve seen enough of her that I think she can hold down a main character role. Like testing out a streaming service before you commit, audiences will get a 15-minute free trial of the Albanian songstress in the spotlight as Lagrange. John Cena and Henry Cavill are just absurd enough to keep the humor going while carrying along the plot.
With a cast this loaded, the film should’ve delivered more. It had potential early on but failed to grow any legs. The dialogue and some of the acting for Bryce Dallas Howard were abysmal (and we’ve seen her do better!). Sam Rockwell was fantastic but also fell victim to the bizarre thanks to Vaughn’s direction. The film reaches its peak once Elly meets Aiden (Sam Rockwell) on the train. After that, not even Henry Cavill’s preposterous wig could save this from falling flat.
Argylle gets a 5.5 out of 10. It’s rated PG-13 in case you want to bring any children with you so you don’t suffer alone. This film could’ve worked. That’s what’s so heartbreaking about reflecting on this bizarre, two-hour-plus experience. Had Vaughn and crew focused equally on this story as they did on that CGI cat, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. This is no Kingsman or Golden Eye by any means. This is a high-dollar cast in a low-brow spy film that simply, didn’t, work.
Argylle hits theaters on Friday, February 2.
-Jon Jones
Photos: Courtesy of Universal Pictures via Getty Images